|First I'd like to say that I'm giving Turbo Sub a one because
GameFAQs wants me to. Second, there might be a game out there that
matches Turbo Sub in pure disgust, but I haven't found it. And
finally, I gaurentee you that there is NO game worse than this.
Now, moving on...
Turbo Sub is quite simply, awful. In every aspect. It's
absolutely unplayable. And it's very *release* defies explanation.
So what is Turbo Sub? Well...in TS, you pilot a small, military
submarine on a rampage throught water. Blowing up all sorts of
enemies, such as mines, other subs, and marine life. And that's
just underwater. You'll also have to deal with an aerial assault
of warplanes. All this is going on while you steer your sub around
various obstacles at high speeds. At least that's what Turbo Sub
is *supposed* to be. Fact is I couldn't tell what the heck I was
doing or what was going on around me. The unbearably bad graphics
and *way* too fast pace made gameplay impossible. I can't
summarize any further. The best way to describe this game is piece
by piece. So away we go...
GRAPHICS: Well I'll base my rating on the screen shots that
appear on the box. Because the insane speed that the game races
along with makes it impossible to tell what *anything* is, let
alone rate it. From said screen shots it's clear that everything
in TS is very pixelated. It almost looks unfinished. The
underwater scenes are basic and include NO detailing. And the
surface shots are just a mess. You can tell where the horizon is.
There's no definate lines to anything, it all just bleeds
together. Don't get me started on the sprites, an octopus looks
just like a depth charge. And a depth charge resembles another
sub. Take these horrible graphics and wiz them by at 100 mph and
you get the idea of what Turbo Sub looks like. Negative ***
SOUND: What sound?! Turbo Sub has absolutely NO music, anywhere
in the game. Instead, what we get is one sound effect. ONE. And
it's a really bad one too. A weak "ka-boom" is all we
get, and it's used for everything, from exploding mines to
resurfacing(!). Truly pathetic. The lack of music is one thing,
but only one sound effect is inexcusable. They could have *at
least* recycled some from other games. Negative ****
CONTROL: Here's how Turbo Sub starts...100 mph, here's how it
ends...100 mph. You're just thrust into the game at high speed.
With no brakes. And without any chance to adjust or LEARN the
controls. Bah, this is a joke. To it's "credit" there
*is* a targeting system to help fire your torpedos. But if you can
aim, fire and hit something before it wizzes by, it's a miracle.
And don't bother trying to surface. There are so many enemy planes
firing at you, it's impossible to keep track of every one. And why
bother? There are rapids that kill you instantly on the surface.
So have to forget about shooting planes down and you're forced to
dodge rocks all day. Negative ****
OPTIONS: Comprende? There aren't ANY. Of course I couldn't bear
playing this garbage past five minutes so who knows...
REPLAY: Why would you want to replay a game that kills you in
under two minutes gaurenteed? I wouldn't. And don't think I'm
kinding about the two minute death either. There's so many
enemies, and you're going so fast, it's suicide. Imagine going the
wrong way down the freeway without breaks. No rating.
This game is so bad it's FUNNY. Well...maybe not. If it was
free it would be funny. But since it cost me five bucks it's
merely embarrassing. It's unplayable. Avoid this game. If you ever
see it...RUN. FAST. It's the worst game to grace a Lynx screen.
And quite possibly, it's the worst game that will EVER be